Okay I posted about most everything that has been going on in the past few months but I barely touched on my experience breastfeeding. For one thing this is my fourth baby and my first time being able to breastfeed longer than a month. I am normally around a 34A and right now I refuse to measure because they are so large. I actually call them milk jugs, creative & classy, huh? I also normally exercise and since they move around when I walk I refuse to do anything that might actually make them BOUNCE! What the heck!
I think being back at work (since he was six weeks old) has made it worse because I am an almost exclusive pumper, so that sweet bonding time you’re supposed to have with your baby is limited to the middle of the night feedings and let’s be honest those aren’t the prime times for bonding. I dread having to go home for lunch on my break every single day and pumping. And then having to do it around 4:30 every afternoon. And then again around 9PM and then again around 2AM. And then again at 7AM. Now I’m sure you’re thinking 1. that I am selfish or 2. why don’t I just breast feed. Well, once you start up the work/daycare routine his feeding times are extremely different than my needing to pump times. In a perfect world I could go to his school and feed him but it’s too far away. Sometimes we get lucky and I can stay in bed longer and can feed him. It’s so much easier than the mind numbing twenty minutes of pumping.
I asked my hubby last night if he thought there could be a direct correlation between breast pumping and depression/anxiety. I mean, I sit in my dark room and pump while I eat breakfast then I eat lunch in there and then I am awake at night by myself pumping away. I do have three bigger kids who sometimes stroll in there and keep me company. They are all pretty funny so that is my favorite time, otherwise I’m on my stupid phone looking at stupid facebook (but that’s another post on another day).
I think a smart person needs to check into my previous paragraph. Breast pumping and anxiety. I tell you what, I can feel it in my finger tips & toes. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, good for you. All that anxiety just coursing through my body sucks. I wish it burned calories then I wouldn’t have to worry about the BOUNCE!